When It's Hard to Love

Loving people should be easy...especially when you have a passion for people who are struggling....but that isn't always the case.  Love can be challenging.  Knowing a person for over 25 years doesn't necessarily make it any easier either.  When you have been around someone for that length of time you would like to think that there are good qualities in them...which there are.   Janie is a great girl but she drinks too much when she goes out.  George is a hard worker if he doesn't take hydros. Samantha will sleep with anyone if you get her high enough.  Thousands of people with hundreds of addictions...alcohol, drugs, porn, spending too much, binge eating, gambling, sex.  Addictions are cruel.  They take a person away from their friends and family and leave them bankrupt.  The addicted person is typically in denial and can't see the forest for the trees.  Denial makes you think I don't know you're drinking if I don't physically see you drink.  Guess what!?! I can tell when you are impaired.  I know the signs...I struggled with alcohol for years.  Why do you hide it?  People without addiction problems don't hide their consumption.  Their personality doesn't change drastically when they drink either.  No, I'm not nagging. I want more for you than active addiction.  I want you to be the man or women that God intended you to be.  I love you.  Which is why I have to set boundaries.  I have to distance myself  from you.  Especially when I have past struggles in the same area.  I can't take a chance that I may end up in that same place again.  I'm not mean or cold or hateful.  I have to protect myself.  I pray for you and hope that someday you will "get it."  If you don't, I'll love you just the same.

Whom My Soul Loves

I've been doing lots of research on love in scripture, quotes, songs, and various texts in my quest to write about loving others.  Most everything I run across seems to point to romantic love, not just loving other people where they are and where I am.  This verse is no different but it touched my heart in an unusual way...

"I have found the one whom my soul loves.  ~Song of Solomon 3:4"

This verse is used for weddings, decorations in bedrooms, and couples tattoos.  But it made me think of soulmates...whom my soul loves.

So who does my soul love?  Who is my soulmate?  My soulmate doesn't have to be a romantic love.  My soulmate can be my friend, my parent, my kid, my cohort in crime.  My soulmate is the one that has similar thoughts and ideals to mine but if it isn't the same, it's okay...I respect difference in opinion and can look at things from a different point of view.  That doesn't mean I'll change my thoughts.  I still get to think for myself.  My soulmate is the one who I feel comfortable with whether I'm dressed for a big event or I have my running clothes on with no makeup on and my hair pulled up on top of my head.  My soulmate is the one I can share my stuff with without fearing what they think and without worry that others will be hearing about it.  The doors are locked...where I drop it is where it stays.  Just like my God, I don't put my soulmate in a box to be limited and they don't place me in a box either.  We only look down at the other when we lift each other up.  My soulmate and I connect and understand each other in a ways that are not to be explained and doesn't have to be explained.  It is what it is...I have found the one whom my soul loves.