Being human...

Saturday morning is really my favorite time of the week.  I get to hang out at the local news talk radio station and talk about pet health then I head to my favorite coffee spot for conversation.  I love to sit at the table.  This is the place I can just be me...me with all the ugliness, struggles, and warts exposed.  If a cuss word comes out of my mouth, no one says, "I can't believe you said that!" or "That is so unlike you!" No one listens to my thoughts and tells me I shouldn't think or feel that way.  I don't feel judged or scrutinized...I just am who I am and how I feel.  That being said, I don't go to the table intending to cuss or judge or scrutinize but in my humanity it happens that way sometimes.  I'm not proud of myself when I fall short of who I aspire to be; but thankfully, I have a relationship with a Savior who doesn't kick me to the curb when I mess up. He just loves me as I should love others.

My goal lately has been to extend grace to others.  I have prayed for opportunities to show grace to others and to help in ways that couldn't be repaid.  Many times I miss these opportunities because I get so busy with life I forget to open my eyes.  Opportunity presented itself recently during a day I was wearing my nurse hat.  An individual was diagnosed with terminal cancer and was being discharged.  They needed to go to a skilled nursing facility in hopes that they would get strong enough to have palliative chemo.  Palliative chemo doesn't fix anything.  It helps with some of the issues from the cancer and may extend the life of the individual somewhat.  This individual is single and lived in a home with three dogs.  The dogs were family...loved, adored, and well taken care of.  So, what do you do when you head to a skilled nursing facility and you have three animals in boarding?  You stress out.  You make decisions that are based on your heart not what's best for your healthcare.  The Holy Spirit kicked into gear and I followed direction.  I gave this person my business card and told her I could help.  I own a pet food store.  I have contacts in the rescue community.  I can find these animals a great home or a place to stay until they able to care for them.  I reassured them that I could solve their problems.  I gave them comfort in a very trying time.  They can call me whenever they are ready and I'll help.  Then, in the business of life...I forgot about it.  Not the kind of forgot about like I didn't mean it.  The kind of forgot about something when it just isn't right in front of you.

Fast forward a week or so.  Friday is a pretty busy and sometimes stressful day for me.  Many times I only have Friday for planning and prep of a ministry that happens on Friday night.  From the time I get up I am wide open...working, studying, planning, shopping...busy!  My plan this Friday was to stay home and study, relax, and enjoy MY day until I needed to head to church.  I totally deserved this "day off."  I had already worked four twelve hour shifts this week at the hospital.  I had to work at Tail Wagger'z on Saturday.  This is going to be MY day.  Then, the text comes.  "This is ____.  Give me a call when you can please.  It's pretty important."  I have no clue who this person is but I'll bite.  I assume it is someone who needs info on Celebrate Recovery.  I call and I have a man telling me he has three dogs for me.  No, he must be mistaken...not for me.  Then he tells me that his parent said to take them to me.  And it hit me.  These were the dogs that belonged to that person.  I told him I couldn't take them today.  He could bring them to me in the morning.  This man worked nights and he had picked up dogs from the person boarding them.  They couldn't go to his apartment.  So I lied.  I told him I was out of town.  I was mad! This was MY day!  How dare you mess up MY day!  Yes, I said I would help but I told you to call me.  I meant for you to call me so we could work out something convenient for me. Something that worked in my schedule.  I was inconvenienced.  I already have ten (yes, ten) dogs at my house.  This wasn't the way it was supposed to happen...it's MY day! *insert whine here.

And then it really hit me...this individual is dying.  And dying very soon.  There was one thing that they loved and adored.  There was one thing that they found joy in.  These dogs...their constant companions...they were entrusting to me.  I was very humbled.  And I was heartbroken that I acted like a spoiled brat when He gave me the perfect opportunity to serve Him.  I can't imagine what it would be like to be in their shoes. I am human and I do act like a brat sometimes.  Thankfully my Lord doesn't hold it against me when I don't quite get it right.  Yes, I am still praying for opportunities to show grace.  God is giving me many different opportunities...but that's a different post.

~Chris